Spring!!

I feel like Spring is in the air this weekend & it is not even February yet!  I have a vague feeling of unease about this. As though I am being teased & a let down is just around the corner.

But I don't care. I am going to enjoy this moment of spring for as long as I can.  I have been outside a lot. I took a lot of pictures for a project I am working on. I have forced my cats out the door many, many times for fresh air.

This coming week is going to be busy & I am feeling rejuvenated and ready for it.  I have an afternoon of subbing, a dentist appt, possible house guest/s, a wine club gathering I am hosting, a lot of baking/cooking.  Yikes!  I am stoked.

I have been trying to branch out into many different levels of cooking recently.  I have learned many things about chicken in the past 2 weeks & I am loving it. And I made Chris paninis last night, with chicken. It was very very tasty. I had a pita with the same ingredients. I felt semi-healthier.  haha.

This appears to be a random posting now instead of just about the fact that Spring is in the air & it is only January. Oh well.  I have not written in a while so there are a number of things to cover.

These last 2 months have been so hard.  I think that is one reason that I have not written. I don't want to write. I don't think I want to let go of certain feelings & hurts. I think I should but I am just not ready.  Soon maybe. But not yet. In looking at the stages of grief it appears I am only at stage 2.  Granted everyone hits those stages at different times & in different orders but after 2 months I would have hoped that I would be farther. And I think I thought I was but this last week, I hit stage 2. In a major way. I am so angry. And I want to write about it & talk about it but I just can't yet. it is just too..... big. I can't handle it. So instead, I just keep going. I keep ignoring it or I cry privately for a moment or two and then keep going. I have a friend who seems to understand that I am not going to be ok yet. And probably not for a while. And she keeps checking on me. It is what I need. And one of these times I will be ready to talk about it again with her but for now I want to keep ignoring it.

OK that is all for now. I am going to go make some new & amazing food.  :)